Life sucks...

Life sucks... I'm smart, in honors classes, I have friends, play around... But of course since I'm smart I get called nerd and other screwed up stuff. I don't even brag to them even though they are retarded. My dad gives me work over the summer... I know your thinking, "Wow your dad is messed up!" Well, your right. I should be happy that I'm smart shouldn't I? But they don't ever think that the smart people should be REWARDED for being so smart... Instead they get more work like they are being punished. I get mostly A's on tests and quizzes and homework. Report cards , all A's and rarely B's. I'm not allowed to play my computer on weekdays... that sucks even if I I read for like an hour, and finished all my homework. But no... I have to sit there and watch TV. i mean I don't even have Cable! At least I have DSL or else my life would really suck.

Somebody help me with the name calling and how to make my life not seem so gloomy. I think that God takes it out on me because I'm an atheist. So now he forces the world to screw me over, so I take it out on the world because of my suffering.
I feed on anger and hate for some reason. Others feed on the suffering of other like vampires to blood. If somebody trips and falls they say,"Haha sucker you fell! Get up you freaking baby!" And in my head I'm like, dang, someone should help him. i think others think that way too. Oh I love people who read this useless junk about my life. Help!

 

I know what ya mean there....

Names never really bothered me. I'm a nerd. What does that mean? It means I'm smarter than the person who's calling me that. What is that but a good thing?

 

Wow man you got some really depressing stuff going on right there but I feel you man that's the type of stuff that happens when your smarter than most of the people around you. As for the name calling its really hard to help with that type of thing because what works for some people it really does vary from others. Like for me I tend to ignore it and alot of people don't mess with me because you know I tend to hit people alot. (I do not recommend this at all!) Now for that someone falls over thing your very right about other people thinking that but they laugh because they going along with the crowd, now to change this I would say stand up and help the kid but I'm afraid I can't without really knowing the people around you, because this does work in some instances but I mean in others it just makes it worse on you and sometimes the other person. I know this paragraph hasn't really helped alot and probably hasn't given much advice but it's incredibly hard to give advice when you personally haven't seen the situation but I hope this paragraph has helped in some way.

 

Ahhh I get what ya' mean dude.

Although hardly not to the extreme youre talking about, I know how it feels. Because you're smart, most things just seem fleeting and not worth your time, and because you realize that, it's considered weird. I'm not as bad because I am smart, but at the same time I know how to mess around and I don't flaunt the fact that I'm smarter than 80% of the people I know, granted I will give out witty comments and throw out some smart facts every once in a while. I might have it easier though, cuz at least in my school, if you're smart, you're not necessarily cool, but you're respected, and it usually turns out that the smart people tend to be the most well liked.

As for the name calling, I got one thing that I do that I live by and it makes my life a whole lot easier: I just don't care. I don't care if people call me something, I don't care if someone doesn't like me, I don't care about useless drama, etc. I've found that just not caring about stuff gives people a large sense of confidence and it also gives them good wit and sense of humor. Stuff like grades and stuff is my exception, I care about my grades lol

 

Wow Itsmyship your lucky man people don't respect smart kids at my school they like the crazy , hyperactive, and stupid(they consider it funny) and it really pisses. But as for what you said about not caring thats like what I said but I also mentioned the fact that you can't really give that advice becuase some people just can't do even if they really want to.

 

You'll survive. I didn't even have a computer in high school and I wasn't allowed TV or video games during weekdays. Get a hobby. I taught myself to juggle random household objects. Guess which one cooler to people- Jamie's ability to quote South Park really, really accurately, or my ability to juggle a remote control, coffee mug, basketball, and paper clip, all at the same time?

As for the extra work... let me explain something to you about psychology.

According to basic psych, there are four distinct ways of modifying behaviour. These are: Positive Reinforcement, Negative Reinforcement, Positive Punishment, and Negative Punishment.

Positive Reinforcement encourages good behaviour by introducing a reward. ex: After working hard, a factory worker is paid his weekly salary. (Working hard is the good behaviour, the salary is the reward)

Negative Reinforcement encourages good behaviour by removing an unwanted something. ex: After a good practice, a soccer coach tells his players they do not have to run laps.

Positive Punishment discourages a bad behaviour by introducing an unwanted something. ex: After having stolen a cookie, a child is spanked by his mother.

Negative Punishment discourages a bad behaviour by removing a wanted something. ex: After hurting another child, a bully is no longer allowed to play outside during recess.


Now, these methods are used around the world, both consciously and unconsciously. They're as part of us as breathing. However, you may have noticed that there's a problem with using them consciously. I'll refer you back to my description of Negative Reinforcement. Because the players performed well during practice, the coach has told them they are not required to run laps.

The problem with that is that it turns running laps into a bad thing. It turns it into a punishment, when really, any good soccer team NEEDS to be running laps in order to remain competitive. It's good for the players and good for the team as a whole. But now, when the coach says next week that he wants the team to run some laps, the players automatically assume that they are being punished, when really the coach is just trying to help them get into better shape.

So you can see how, without realizing it, the coach has taken something that was originally a regular part of practice and turned it into a punishment; an unwanted something. No matter how much the coach says they're doing good, and he just wants them to run, they'll still feel like they're being punished.

See where I'm going with this? Some while ago, some great dolt of a teacher got it into his head to say "Listen kids, if you guys will just listen, no homework today." For some ridiculous reason, this became popular, and as such, not giving out homework was considered a reward for the class, and giving out additional homework is seen as a punishment, even when it's not. Just like running laps and doing push-ups, homework has become a punishment in our society.

But it's not. Running laps and doing push-ups are important physical exercises. Doing homework is an important mental exercise. If you just went to school for hours a day, and then let your brain rot for the rest of the evening, school would be far, far less effective. Many studies in child's psychology fields have proven this theory.

So you're smart. Good. Any half-decent teacher will notice that. Homework is to help you, it's not a punishment. Not having you do homework and instead just letting you sit around watching The Simpsons all day would be a punishment.

Yes, it's counter-intuitive, but getting homework and being able to complete it IS your reward for being smart. It's stimulating your brain at different times during the day, times when it's not used to being stimulated, making you sharper, quicker, and smarter. Think of it as excercise for your mind, except it can't get sore.

And yes, your dad is giving you work to teach you work ethic. I have to say, your life sounds pretty amazing right now. You've got friends, you're smart, and you're disciplined. I have a friend who was like that in High School, and he just got married. Then, when he got back from touring Europe with his wife, he jumped in his Skyline and drove to his new house. The guy is 26. Not too bad, eh? (EDIT: I should point out that my friend, who has been helped very little through life by his parents who are barely able to eke out a living themselves, is, unlike myself, not the best looking person in the world, [read: he's ugly] so don't nobody try to pass it off as that.)

Remember, you're not being punished, you're being helped against your will.

As for the falling down thing, I generally dealt with that by appealing to their intellect, very, very publicly. Ask them why it's funny. Ask them why they feel the need to bolster their own self-worth by putting others down. Ask them in front of the biggest crowd possible, and watch them stumble over their own idiocy while they try to answer. Insist that you only want to know because you can't imagine what it would be like to hate yourself like that.

Inevitably, you'll be faced with the oh-so-brilliant remark of "You're such a loser" or "**** you, man". At which point my preferred response is "Brilliant. That was a very intelligent comeback. I'm glad we had this discussion. You take care now." and walking away. Say it completely seriously. Maybe roll your eyes a little. Make it obvious that he's an idiot. Just don't say it, or you've sunk to his level.

As a final note: The idea of getting your ass kicked. Now, I have a fighting gene. I love getting into the thick of things. Most people don't, I understand that. But I do want to stress that in street fights, the winner of the fight is not necessarily the one standing up, and the loser of the fight is not the one on the ground. The winner is the one who looks like a bigger man in the end. If you're walking away, and you get blindsided, and he shoves you into a wall, or anything, keep walking. The worst he can do is hit you.

And then what? You have a headache for a couple of days. He, on the other hand, looks like a psychotic spaz. Maturity wins in these situations in everyone's eyes. If at the end of the week, you can tell everyone that some people like to solve problem's without looking like a gorilla, you've won.

Questions?

P.S.: Yes, I'm studying Psychology.


Bonus 1000 minerals for a lovely post.

 

a few years ago i used to be called names, then i found a secret, instead of trying to make a come back to all the insults that might be thrown at me, i instead took all "insults" as a complement. because i took any insult as a complement with an erry sort of positive attitude they couldn't do any thing about it, all the name calling stopped.this works great with all sorts of insults.

 

Very good statement Bizzaro_Paragon. It kinda goes hand in hand with my "not caring" policy. What I do, if I'm called a name or such I say the exact same statement, "I accept that." I've found those three words incredibly useful to me in plenty of situations.

Another thing that I've found useful is boring into their deep mind. The best way I can explain it is saying what they're thinking to the point where it shuts them up. I know...sounds kinda Hannibal Lector-esque, but I must say, it is a very effective thing. Maybe I'm just an evil tyrant in training, but hey....I accept that

 

Thats the shitty part of your american society.
But people grows up. Im sure you dont see adults teasing each other. You will grow out of it, and one day, the people that works for you and cleans your garbage and packs your food will be those that used to make fun of you, just avoid becoming a resented pussy because they suck.
Read my sig.

 

Damn you Europeans/Aussies for looking on the bright side of life, NEVER will we succumb to your level!
But yeah, that's why I like California...it really is a very chill place.

 

I hate to double post, but this doesn't go with my original post, and it's on a completely separate topic, so I'm going to go against my better judgement and throw this into a second post.
EDIT: This ended up taking so long to write that it ended up not being a double post. So I guess you can disregard this first statement.

Noone, but noone, and I include itsmyship in this statement (Though he's free to disagree) can completely ignore things like that. When people call you a name, you hear it, it affects you. It affects some less than others, but it affects you. Having it affect you doesn't make you any less of a man. It doesn't make you small, it doesn't make you a wuss. When those guys calling you nerds are referred to as big, dumb, brutes, you don't think that affects them at all? Noone is immune.

The idea is not to avoid it. Shutting your eyes to something you don't like can work sometimes, but is most often unhealthy and dangerous. The idea is more to understand it. Let me give you an example of what I mean.


Jock - 'Haha, look at the loser's glasses. Wassa matter, can't see, four-eyes?

Scenario #1 - Exaggeration Theory

Mode of Thought - "The coolest kid in school just called me a loser. He must be right, because he's so popular. If he doesn't like me, noone must like me. I'm just dragging my friends down. God, I look like such an idiot with these glasses on. I wish I could just crawl under this desk and die."

The Problem - None of that is true, and most of it straight up doesn't make any sense. Noone is loved by everyone, and noone is hated by everyone either, it's how our species evolved. If you were, you wouldn't have any friends. Some of the world's most attractive people wear glasses, and trends are erupting across North America right now where people who don't even need glasses are wearing them anyway. Glasses don't make you a loser unless you want them to. This scenario - dumb.

Scenario #2 - Avoidance Theory

Mode of Thought - "That guy is such an ass. He thinks just because he plays on the football team, he's better than everyone. Man, I don't have to listen to what that guy says, he's a moron. Dumb jocks are all the same."

The Problem - Yes, you're keeping your self-esteem up, but only by ignoring the problem. So at the same time, you're succesfully breeding prejudices, bottling anger, and withdrawing from the world around you. Besides, the problem is still going to be there when you look back, it will just seem worse the next time. This scenario - Effective in the short term, but not in the long term

Scenario #3 - Acceptance and Understanding

Mode of Thought - "Okay, so he just called me a loser. Well, I have just as many real friends as he does, so that doesn't really make any sense. Who is he to make that decision anyway? And what's wrong with glasses? Geez, he might as well have said 'look at the losers' shoes!' Well, I'm sure he's got his own reasons to want to need to say that, and at least now I know he doesn't like me. He thinks I'm a loser, but that doesn't mean other people do."

The Problem - Well I mean, the guy's still being a douchebag. Spit in his drink if you get the chance or something*. This scenario -  Healthy and mature.

That's what itsmyship was really saying. You don't ignore it. You don't pretend it's not there. You say "Sure, I can handle that." And then you take it for what it really is.

Oh come on. You mean to tell me that kids elsewhere in the world don't make fun of each other? These are universal themes here.

And remember, some of those people who used to make fun of you will become just as succesful as you. Striving for vengeance, even indirect like this is, is never healthy.


*No, not really.


Bonus 1000 minerals for yet another lovely post.

 

I agree majorly with Bizarro on this one. It's not about what other people think. Often, it's about setting things straight and exposing people for what they're really doing.

His explanation of the "falling down" scenario is my experience to a T. I've been in a number of fights, and I've never thrown a punch. Why? It's unnecessary. Often, it's better to walk away and then just hear them coming after you and to step aside. Then you can watch them roll on the ground by their own fault.

I've had a number of the people who've thrown punches at me arrested. If you don't fight back, you can't be pointed at either. It's the best strategy. Why fight?

You can just taunt them. Don't call them names, because that's their own tactic, and a lot of times it won't really work. But if you insult them over their heads, as Bizarro suggested, it's inevitable they're going to get really, really pissed. And that's the goal. To get them pissed and look like an idiot. In fact, a lesson like this in a group dynamic will often change the behavior of the entire group as a whole.

But the most important thing to take from it is that it's not important that you're popular in anyone else's eyes. I've always found myself to be much more satisfied with a close group of between 2-10 friends that are very, very close. I've never been happy at the times that I've been separated from this group, even when I have a larger group of friends that I don't know as well.

Call me anti-social, but I walked out High School with a free ride to college, a number of good friends, and the respect, if not the liking, of most of my classmates.

 

I'm smart yet i take pleasure in simple things so i'm called an idiot. where's the justice in that? I'm the guy that figures stuff out for people and i also enjoy a good game of hackey sack. My friends say i pick up on more stuff then they realize, its kind of funny. Not to mention that i'm a bit of a pot head.
Enough about me and my personal issues. The best method to ignore it and find some thing fun to do . Don't let any one antagonize you. Don't take s**t from no one. You don't have to and no one is making you.

 

I know what you mean about the nerd thing. Although was friends with everyone in high school and still have many friends now, and they respected me, I had the "nerd" label to quite a few of my friends too. Even in good fun, it sucks lol.

I'm sorry that life isn't happening as you would like it to. The reality of it is that just because you get good marks, does not mean you won't have to do work for your family in your off time. Assuming you're talking about stuff like yard work, house cleaning, etc then it's completely normal for parents make their children help out around the house or do work. In fact, it's healthy to take on responsibilities to learn how to fend for yourself as well as mature in different areas. Not only is it good for developing skills that will help you now and can in the future, it's a tool of discipline. Generally you see people who not only are acheiving in academics, but have skills and experiences from learning to do things on their own, doing well in life. Your parents making you do chores and work in your off time is the starting point, acting as a building block for you. This can keep some kids very busy, which helps staying focused and staying out of trouble.

When I was younger I had the same concerns as you, but as you get older you will see life as you know it a lot differently. I hope you make the most of your years and best of luck.

 

Great posts all around.  I absolutely loved the two posts by Bizarro though.

Darktemplar_L, I'm sorry to hear that things aren't very peachy for you.  I think you should give Bizzaro's suggestions some serious consideration, they seem very helpful.  You're bound to meet asses in life, and it's too bad that those asses can be just as successful or even more so than you later in life.  But none of what they do now would really hinder your own success in life unless you let it.  You are who you are, you don't stop being smart because a small number of people in this world have a problem with it.

I know it might sound cliche and that it doesn't help at all, but it really does get better as you get older.  When I was younger, I too thought "**** that" whenever I heard all those "when you get older... blah blah blah~" stories.  But after I got older, I realized that it's all true.  Just try to stay focused and don't let the stuff get to you too much.  Things will look up after high school, I promise.  Just always remember that it's you who is living your life, not anyone else.

This is kinda going off track, but I think you're probably not an atheist if you really think that God is punishing you.  You're just a nonbeliever.  But I think we all know the real answer is to play StarCraft, amirite?  Seriously though, unless your parents are abusing you otherwise, it sounds like you actually have great parents who know what they're doing.  It might seem like they're being tough on you now and you really could use a break, but I'm quite sure that one day you will be grateful how they raised you.  But about using your computer on weekends, perhaps you should try approaching your parents and propose a deal in a mature manner.  Maybe ask them to use the computer 2 hours a day(start small) but promise that you would first finish all your school work and house chores, and that you would not let it effect your studies.  Try stressing that it would be a privilege, and they can take it away if your grades were to drop.

All in all, I hope everything works out for you.  Remember you can always share your troubles with the people here.  So far, no one has been an ass.  Best of luck to you.

 

I think everyone can relate somewhat to these situations. Even I had them, and looking back I let myself be affected by them too much.

I´m studying now and well, you are gratefull for more work since it forces you to learn. Honestly who has perfect Discipline?

Your experiences make you used to it and trust me you will be gratefull to be a "nerd" later.

 

great posts bizzaro owerup:

half way through your first post i was wondering why you used running laps as an example of a punishment but then you explained it perfectly.

Darktemplar_L you should be glad that you are gifted, when you are older and find yourself with a nice house and job then you would really appreciate it. keep up the good work dude :good:

 

Life is unair, I know. I've already been there. I was also a smart cookie, and I had bully problems at school during my grade school days. And everyone always depended on me, so I had to do all the work while the others loaf around doing nothing. But when I was already at high school, I changed my lifestyle. I still am studying hard, but I also had time to fool around with friends and be rebels. So I really didn't have any problems in my high school. I am smart and people respected me.

There's just a simple solution. Always balance your life. Don't just get stuck on sone thing like studying coz you want high grades. Enjoy other things in life like sports, get togethers, vacation and if possible, breing rules. It's just that simple. I hope I helped out.

@Bizzaro

Your post is like too professional. LOL. However, that is so true. I also took up basic psych and learned those things and it was really great.

 

WTF?! I'm glad my parents aren't like that.

 

Thanks to all of you people, especially Bizzaro_Paragon. I will use your info and hope to have a better life from now on. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still don't get WHY the people make fun of smart people. Just because they are stupid and envy smart people, doesn't mean they have to take out there stupidity on smart people...
When people are like name-calling back and forth, it's the first person to stop making a comeback loo like a wuss and they same some weird thing. the guy's like," Nice comeback!" Then, since he said it, everyone else says it.

Like, somebody says one thing, they all say it. Of course when I get in a name-calling fight, they cuss, but I don't cause I would be screwed if my mom and dad found out. I will say damn since it only means: curses! Ex: Damn it! They call me A**hole and f**ker. I say: retard, idiot... Then, once I run out of non cussing words, I have nothing to say except: Stop wasting my time.

Of course Paragon you are right about the name calling stuff and psychological problems they have but still they won't stop as soon as I say those they would be like, "Forget you!" In my mind I know they say that cause they can't come up with anything. Then, the next day again, I need something to stop it for a while.