Mario Kart items described by Cracked

Discussion in 'Space Junk' started by EonMaster, Apr 2, 2010.

Mario Kart items described by Cracked

Discussion in 'Space Junk' started by EonMaster, Apr 2, 2010.

  1. EonMaster

    EonMaster Eeveelution Master

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    Just felt like sharing a segment from one of my favorite comedy news sites :D

    Lightning - Your about to make that giant jump to win the race at Wario's bizarre arena dirt track when all of the sudden your screen flashes, you spin out, shrink, and get flattened into a tiny pancake after getting run over by a CPU. This one wasn't even all that satisfying to dole out because of the high pitched little song that came with it, especially when compared with...

    Star - It's like driving a gay tank down the middle of the Macy's Day Parade. We all love being invincible, and we all love the ability to go really fast, but the best part was the awesome disco track that went along it.

    Red Shell - You shoot it, it hones in on the nearest target and tries its very hardest to please its master by f***ing up said target.

    Green Shell - Red Shell's inbred, drunk driving cousin.

    Banana - An at first useless and then useful and ultimately obnoxious item. The day we realized we could fling bananas forward was perhaps the greatest days of our adolescence. It quickly went downhill when we realized that we had to dodge those bananas like everyone else. Why bananas would make a car spin out was a mystery, but when one of our friends flew off the course and fell into lava/water/empty space due solely to our discarded fruit condom, we couldn't help but pause the game for a brief but well deserved victory dance.

    Blue Shell - F*** the Blue Shell.

    http://www.cracked.com/funny-3843-mario-kart/
     
  2. Kaaraa

    Kaaraa Space Junkie

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  3. EonMaster

    EonMaster Eeveelution Master

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    I just have to wonder why no one seems to talk about those fake "?" boxes. Always hilarious when someone lands into one you placed with the real boxes, and if they don't, you hope you remember which one you placed it at during the next lap.
     
  4. Kaaraa

    Kaaraa Space Junkie

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    I think it's because it's really difficult to place them in a convincing position while you're racing down the track. If it's just a question box in the middle of nowhere, most know better than to go for it. On the other hand, if you place it right in front of a real mystery box then people are almost sure to hit it, if only because they can't avoid it in time.
     
  5. Lobsterlegs

    Lobsterlegs Guest

    Doesn't the box stay still? I always find them easy to spot. It's more of a solid banana peel. But placing it by the "?" line is better. And the chars always cheer further in the race if someone went for it, so you will always know if it's there or not (unless you've spammed other stuff).
     
  6. Fenix

    Fenix Moderator

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    I always placed them on jumps. Can't dodge in midair.