This is good, good wordings although as a short story, I was expecting some dialogue. But it's still worth a vote.
I would like to have known more about the scene and what exactly is going on. Maybe its my lack of knowledge about Protoss lore but I don't really understand exactly what is going on other than a dark templar is in a temple filled with beasts. I am tempted to guess that they are Zerg but I'm not entirely sure of that either. Otherwise, it was a good story. It is probably the best of th three I've read so far.
there were moments that really pulled me in, and others that left me confused... a nice submission - thnx for sharing
Good job on proof reading your work unlike so many others. It's well written, but not that interesting. I don't really care much about this lone Protoss that I know nothing much about. I think your real intent was to show the relationship between the dark templar and the void. I'm not 100% convinced of that. The quote at the beginning sorta doesn't relate that well to the story, but then again its a bit unclear what you're driving at. It's certainly not a bad piece of writing. I enjoyed your formulation of words and the combo of internal/external conflict. Out of the 5 I've read so far this is my #2 pick.
I'm just glad SC2Forum gave us both full credit for third place instead of forcing us to split the reward or something. Especially since I voted for this one. Oh if my own vote had put you over the top of mine I would cry lol.
Funny thing is I also voted for yours. *Edit an extended version of this story will be posted. The ending will be redone a bit and some parts cleaned up. It will all make sense. Be watching.
