I like it, but for the record, syllables are your friend. :good: Having 8 syllables on one line and 13 on another within 2 lines of each other unfortunately throws off the rythm of an otherwise awesome poem. Overall good job though.
QFT, the title of poetry (for anyone who's taken any type of intro to lit class) is the most important part.
a few odd references - like baseball... in Starcraft? a bunch of oddly worded rhymes and spotty rhythm all could be worked on in this... the part I highlighted before had a nice tone and rhythm to it - but other than that... just wasn't feeling it... the attached picture was a nice touch - I felt like if it had been shorter you could've focused on increasing the quality a good deal, good effort tho, pz
Hmmm... I didn't clearly catch the subject of this poem. Was this about marines getting suited for battle?
Well yeah... And Nate, the reference to baseball was there to imply that the woman was beaten up with a bat. I didn't think it was that complicated Well I'm glad some of you liked it, I had fun with it Though I expected 1 or 2 more votes ;D
well, I didn't mean that it was hard to understand - I meant it didn't seem to vibe with the starcraft universe
Well I don't know about that. The poem tries to describe the preparation for a battle against unknown beings from Findlay's point of view. The dream was just a little spice to it
