Twilight Rage...

I haven't read the Twilight series, I'm not reading the Twilight series, and I've got no intention of reading the Twilight series in the future. Nevertheless, it has managed to piss me off beyond belief.

It all started Thursday, when I made a random comment about some show in the TV guide which was another one of the conventional-through-attempted-innovation shows about romantic vampires. Obviously I began my rant on how vampires are not even remotely romantic and that this new obsession with vampire love is tantamount to a fetish for zombie porn.

Don't ask me how, but during the course of this rant the vampiric traits for these so-called Vampires, or SCV's, that appear in Twilight became known to me through the means of my sister, who has read the series. These are the problems I have.

One. Vampires are not romantic beings. I'm quite aware that I've only just said this, but I did feel it was a point of such importance that it was worth mentioning for a second time, but why stop there? They are not romantic. They're horrible undead abominations whose sole purpose of their afterlife is to sustain their own existence through leeching the life of those around them. I can understand how this can lead to a sense of a sexual terror with recently departed husbands or wives returning home to take the life of their spouse as they lie defenceless in their beds by biting their tender necks, but that's purely circumstantial. Obviously the place best known to the vampire will be the easiest place to hunt, as is seen in real life with many animals in the wild, and the neck is the best source of blood for any large blood-sucking animal, due to the amount of blood required by the brain and pooling of blood to the head while lying down or hanging upside-down. All up, they are not romantic, and any such evidence is purely circumstantial. I can understand the odd story incorporating such connotations as a bit of a refreshing change, but it is by no means mainstream.

Two. Vampires die in the sun. The do not sparkle. Diamonds sparkle. Disco-balls sparkle. Returning and murderous vessels of the terror of Hell do not sparkle. The best guess I have as to how this amazing leap of logic ever came into existence would be through the idea of vampires being pale-skinned, and as such, more light would be reflected off of them in they were to be placed in direct sunlight, as white surfaces reflect more light than coloured or black surfaces, which does not amount to them sparking in the sunlight, but does, however, raise a similar point, that point being that vampires aren't even supposed to be pale in the first place. Having just died, most vampires would usually be undergoing the process of putrefaction, resulting in a much darker complexion, not as much in terms of having a tan as much as having been dipped in a large vat of molasses, and while it could be said that the skin generally turns pale after death, and that if the family of the deceased could have been in some huge rush to bury them in some vain attempt to reach closure then vampires could indeed be pale for a short period of time, this gives absolutely no reason that would even begin to imply the slightest chance of any possibility of even suggesting that vampires glow in the sun. The only effect sunlight ever has on vampires is death, if any at all. The same goes for garlic, holy water and crucifixes.

Three. Vampires do not wear casual dress. They are undead, and consequently wear the clothes they were buried in, and do not go home to change before setting out to drain several victims of all their vital fluids. No-one is buried in a T-shirt and jeans. They're buried in a suit, or formal-wear. Meeting St Peter outside the pearly gates is like going to a job interview. If you show up looking like you're not taking it seriously, you're not going to be accepted. There are hundreds of others out there who are after the same position, so why would they give it to someone who's not trying? Even if you knew you were going to Hell, and wanted to dress accordingly, in a T-shirt and shorts so you won't overheat, none of your friends or family are going to think the same, and really, they get the final say, and even if throughout your entire life they know that you're going straight to Hell, all that changes after you die. Just look at Michael Jackson. Vampires wear suits, and there's no two ways about it.

Four. Werewolves. Lycanthropy is a curse, not a blessing. Magicians transform at will, werewolves transform at the worst possible time which never fails to coincide with the presence of a full-moon. On top of that, werewolves do not retain their freewill after transforming into said werewolf. They go crazy, and attack their loved ones mercilessly, sometimes with a particular intent to do so, though often this is merely for the same reason as the vampires before, being that werewolves would most commonly be around their loved ones to begin with, so they're naturally at the greatest risk of being attacked in the first place. The only thing they could have done to have had a worse portrayal of werewolves would be if werewolves were also romantic and sparkled as well, though there's absolutely nothing telling me that they don't, so I think it's safest to assume the worse, otherwise the shock of being told they do could really push me over the edge.

Now, it's great to get some refreshing changes amongst the genres every so often to stop everything becoming bland, predictable and samey, and people are always going to have their own take on the whole supernatural scenario. However, when the only connection between the name and what's actually being represented is either choice or the strict etymological stem of the word, you've definitely done something wrong. If you're desperate to create blood sucking yet romantic and sparkling abominations that always dress in a smart casual attire, do not call them vampires, and likewise, if you're desperate to have werewolves that are as much werewolves as a ninja with a cowbell around its neck is still a ninja, do not call them werewolves. They're not.

 

/hug

I couldn't agree more

 

i agree with you on point 1, 2 and 4, but disagree on point 3

most vampires, even in the older stories, wear something else then they died in, perhaps not in the original stories from the 13th century, but for the last 200 years or something, vampires wear chique clothing and a cape.
that is not what people are buried in(at least not the cape)

 

dw i hate twilight too.

 

Jiff, you're saying you disagree with the point that states that vampires do not wear casual dress, then go on to say how vampires don't wear casual dress. See the problem?

The cape is more symbolic of the vampire bat, and even so, in the Middle Ages, it was a definite part of their formal attire, and seeing as people were buried in their formal wear, people would have been buried in capes.

 

Yep, Twilight sucks. And people that like it suck.

On the other hand, District 9 is awesome. Just saw it. PURE EPIC WIN this movie is.

 

+++!!!!

Finally!!

I thought there was something wrong with me for not being in on the vampire love trend. I just really really got pissed with peoples obsession about those stuff. My siblings rant for that vampire actor and even invaded my laptop and made a wallpaper out of that actor which his name I didnt even know... ehem, as for revenge I secretly edited that wallpaper and and wrote some scribbles on his face then I send it to my sisters cellphone and e-mail... she got pissed and didn't want to talk to me for a while...

Afterwards I tried to make amends with her by doing this:

Narrator: It was night at the 23 household. Upon his arrival at home he met the evil vampire loving sibling and said....
Freedom23: Hey sis, know what? while I was riding the bus going to work they filmed twilight there! (Ive said it with an enthusiastic voice trying to make her feel that it has gotten into me.)
Sibling1: Really!? So you liked it too eh?
Freedom23: it sucks! nyahaha ( I laughed out loud with the feeling of satisfaction seeing my siblings dissapointment!
Narrator: And so normal life was preserved.
The End

 

it's overrated without a doubt. The movie itself is a blunder with weak characters and plot. I have no intention of picking the novel after that horrible experience. I'd rather watch From Dusk Till Dawn.

 

People i see eye to eye with. I'm so glad you guys exists. the only freakin vampire i will ever love is BLADE.... GG all you twilight lame-o's

 

Fixd that bit for you.

Nice rant there:yes:

 

Itza, are you trying to piss of Darkone or something?

Try watching Interview With A Vampire. I kinda liked that one. Good story, and the "romance" thing doesn't feel like it has been forced into the movie.

 

I only like twilight whenever I get the free ticket to watch with other, Yes I am watching it as a 'social'/'casual' movie. I'm not a true vampire romance type of things.

 

I wasn't even gonna post in this thread. I was just gonna read it, say I agree here, I disagree here, and not actually say anything. But you just had to bring my name up didn't you Aurora?

I know that Twilight is getting out of hand, but naturally, anything that gets this huge in such a short amount of time, is gonna attract some massive hate as well. Which in turn helps it out, so you're really playing into the trap by doing this.

I don't agree with you on the romantic thing, yes twilight romance is ****ing cheezy, and it has given other vampires a terrible bad name in this aspect, and I hope she dies for it.

Vampires do die in the sun, or if they are strong enough at least get really burnt. That she would make them sparkle is the dumbest thing, I have EVER heard of. The garlic thing, is just stupid, Vampires have really strong noses, and garlic is a really pungent plant, so there would be a natural adversion to something that offends you so. Crucifix and Holy water, really up for debate, I can see why you would think that Vampires would be weak to them.

Vampires wear the dress from the age they lived their mortal life in, sure some of them may like the dress they are wearing when they are buried, if they are buried at all.

I do agree on point four.

Yes it is great to see a refreshing change, so things don't get stale, I do agree there, and Vampires as romantic beings in smaller less crazy plots is fine. But this is too much, and has attracted too much attention to be plausible anymore. People are going to hate it. But, people have the right to write what they want really, so long as it doesn't fringe copyrights. The definition of vampire is a blood sucking undead creature that walks the night, so long as they adhere to that, they can call them vampires.

Furthermore, Vampires may be seen as demons to you, but even if a vampire is a demon he or she still has free will. They have concious. No other being is controlling them. So they can dress how they want. Act how they want, and be romantic, if they so desire. A vampire was once a normal human. So it's only natural that still have their free will, and carry things on as if they were human.

 

Itza, you are just going to have to get used to the idea that modern Vampires and Werewolves are deviating from their traditional roots(nowadays, Vampire can mean at least a person that needs to survive off of blood, and a Werewolf is at least a person that transform into a wolf-wolfish form), but I agree that this fascination of vampires is tiring to me, and wish that werewolves were giving the spotlight for a while(really just count all the movies, books, anime, whatever about vampires compared those about werewolves).

 

Well I will say that I agree that I highly dislike Twilight. I have nothing against people who like it. I do agree though that the characters in the book are not what I'd call vampires and werewolves, but just like all series, somebody after awhile feel the need to change what makes that object, that object. The main problem I have is when people get this over fascination with these things. I have nothing against goth's or emo's or anything, you can love vampires and werewolves all you want. What I have a problem with is when the person you love takes a liking more to Edward and wants you to behave more like a character from the book. I know this is happening because it's happened to me and a bunch of my friends.

 

Sorry Darkone.

The lasck of werewolve stories is easy to explain, in my opinion. A vampire is a mysterious creature. Mysterious as in that they have free will, and an extreme lifespan. Werewolves are just humans who turn into feral beasts. Not much variation in them, as they can't control the more interesting aspects of their "powers". Vampires can apply their own morality and stuff to their actions.

And how do you keep that interesting? Add people who they love to the story, or at least people who they interact with. Just to be clear: interaction that goes further then blood sucking.

Further, the common "rule" for werewolves is that they turn into their beast state once a month. That makes it incredibly difficult to center a storyline around just one character, since things don't get to the really interesting part that often.

 

I hate how Muse was used in that movie. Even though it probably gave them good publicity, I still hate the fact that they stuck a good band into douche of a movie.

When I pay Blackholes, people who never heard of Muse say, "hey that's the Twilight song!" It doesn't make me hate Muse, but makes me hate Twilight even more. >_<

 

^
Word on that

also, when you talk about Muse, some idiot always makes the comment "They became famous trough Twilight"
"no, they did not"

 

not to me, I they should be more like what they were in the traditional folklore, crazy for the thirst for blood and warmth. and that is what they are to me.

it depends on where you look, in a lot traditional folklore the Werewolf have freedom to transform when he wants and what he does while he was in his other form.

not true, the common rule is that they have can turn into their beast state, the condition on how/why differs from folklore to folklore.

 

lycanthropy is just an euphemism for menstruation.


on topic though, nowadays people prefer mysterious dark people over tragic cursed people, so vamps are more popular