Confused and don't know what to do.

Man, if worse comes to worse, you're going to have to report him. It won't be any easier in two weeks from now. I don't know your situation, and I don't know the severity, but no one should have to go through physical abuse, or emotional abuse, from anyone.

 

Before I begin, I need to say that it happens very often in our society that people will exaggerate their experiences in order to come across as a more sympathetic figure. In other words, they will make things seem worse than they are, or even completely invent stories. It's a psychological safety net that we're all guilty of at some point. Now, I obviously have no idea if you're telling the truth or not, since we're on the internet. But I'd be a complete dolt if I didn't assume you were telling the truth, so I will.
I am just going to say that, in the event that your parents are not physically hurting you, accusing them of doing so is a serious breach of ethics that needs to stop immediately. I will say nothing more on this subject.

Now, on to serious response.

In ten years, when you look back and see how shaken you were by not making the basketball team, I guarantee you that you will laugh. After all, Air Jordan himself didn't even make his College team. Did you know that? Micheal Jordan, easily the king of basketball and greatest player to ever step foot on the court, didn't qualify for his college team. Now, that's two things. Number one, it's hilarious. But, more importantly, it's a message. Not making the team now means absolutely nothing in the long run. If you really like the game, practice. Come back better and faster next year. Play during lunch hours. Whatever you want. This is nothing more than a temporary setback. Remember, true strength is displayed through failure, not through success.

Brothers and sisters picking on each other is normal. Humans are naturally competitive creatures, we're always looking to one-up each other. And for the biggest part of your life now, the only people you've had a consistent shot at being competitive with are your siblings. It's completely normal. The same goes with being at school. Children are the most ruthless animals in the world, and cramming them all into a little room together is an incredibly stupid, albeit necessary, idea. You will be teased. You will be mocked. Everyone will be, even if it doesn't look like it. I recently had a conversation with someone who made fun of me all the time back in elementary school, though it's all water under the bridge now. He said he thinks one of the main reasons he did so was because his friends always made fun of him. People are generally scared and need to make themselves feel bigger. The easiest way to trick yourself into feeling big is to make everyone else seem small. You're never going to be able to completely ignore someone picking on you (and even if you could, you shouldn't), but you can understand why they do it, and realize that what they're saying doesn't actually mean anything at all. The good news is that it's almost over. A few more years and everyone just sort of grows out of it. I'm only 19 and it's already a distant memory.

Chores that seem unnecessary are very good at building discipline and character, while getting an actual job will do nothing but interfere with your education. I wasn't allowed to get a job until I was 16, and even then it was only in the summer. Looking back, it was the smart thing to do.

Now, as for your parents. If you want a substantial answer, you're going to have to be specific. If you're not comfortable putting something like that on a forum, you can PM me. If you're not comfortable talking to me about it, talk to someone else. Students hate most teachers because of what they are, not who they are. Most teachers are competent, kind people. To become a teacher you need to have to want to help people, and you can bet the house that they'll take the situation seriously. If you don't think you can really trust anyone, you can always trust your favourite teacher, believe me.

You definitely seem like you want to stay at home, which is good. But saying that this is just their method of discipline does not excuse physical violence, and I would certainly like to have a word with your parents myself in the event that it came to that. Now, as you're staying, the next time that something like this happens, be sure to clearly tell them that you don't want them to do it anymore, and that's it done, for good. If they say what you want doesn't matter, tell them that you know they aren't allowed to do it, and if they don't stop you'll call 911 or tell your teacher. It's easy to be intimidated by parents and to believe that they control everything, they're still just people. They have to follow every standard that we do, and they don't have any extra rights.

And if ever, ever, it gets to be too much, leave. I can not stress this enough. Leave, go to a neighbour's house, a friend's house, anywhere at all, and tell them what happened. I believe in the basic goodness of the human being, and will say that there is no human alive that would turn aside that person.

Keep your chin up, Rex. If nothing else, know that there's an entire forum here full of people who think you're pretty damn great.



EDIT: On a side note, I understand that you live in Canada? Whereabouts do you live? I live near Montreal, myself.

 

Dude, don't worry. If worst comes to worst, I agree that you should get a social worker's assistance. But, don't let people being jerks to you put you down. Verbal abuse is never any fun, and there are always kida who are going to make fun of you no matter what. for 15 years i've been enduring it, and I'd like to say it gets easier, especially if you have good freinds as i do. All i can say is try to ignore it. it's not that easy, i understand, but you can;t just let everybody put you down and tell you what to do. Best of luck to you!

 

Solve the problem your self and defend your self. Show them that you ain't a little kid no more and people make mistakes as its a part of being human and accepting change to better your self, if they can't accept that what does their punishment help fix since it only makes things worse for you, tell em its your life not theirs and you have control of it.

I don't know your social position or anything but running to a social home won't solve nothing cuz they're still your family also 15 is a bit too old to be getting with a new familly in my opinion.

Btw my mum does foster care and I don't know how the system works in Canada but its just like sleeping at a friends house whose parents like you a lot most of the time then when someone wants to adapt and you fit the description they want or someone wants anyone you may get moved to a new permanent family.
If you meant like a institute for children who get abused and you are all housed in one big building then I can see many problems arise there.

But the best thing to do is stand tall and be tough. Don't let em push you around. Also don't put your self in a mind frame where you feel you must compete with everyone as its better to not contend at all rather than seek victory.

Since I can remember my step dad be talking shit to me bla bla I'll talk shit back as he is pretty immature and likes to argue and always thinks hes right but on a physical level he can't really harm me so theres that level of respect on both sides and it seems they have lost respect for you, so you should try to re-affirm that respect by what ever way suits you just don't do anything irrational.

 

Well I'll try and give it a chance :-\ but what happens when I report, do I live on the street or something? Or do I get sent off to live with my relatives? I don't want to report I just want them to stop, and do things peacefully, I tired of all this pressure from school, but from my own family hurts. So thats why I have come here to post this, and ask advice. I've tried talking to an adult, and they always say are you getting hurt? If you are I have to tell the Police/Child Services. And I don't want to go.

People who pretend to do this stuff just need attention, I don't need attention I just want violence in my family to stop, thats why I'm asking for help.

Thanks man, people do try to put me in a place, to see themselves better, but its hard to get out of it. One of my bestfriends who didn't really help me (I helped him more) now has a life without abuse. He now back stabbed me, and made rumors, so everywhere I turn there is stress, and I don't know what to do.

@Bizzaro Well my family treats me like a game. Here an Eg. WHy can't you be good like the rest of my friend's children. She just wants to brag about how good her children are, same with school grades... Its silly. Thats why she always yells at me, she also doesn't even know when happens inside their homes, she just takes their word. She doesn't have to brag, I just need to say Hi to her friends, and they say she taught us really good, but then she expects more. I live in Alberta, so its quite far :-\ I'll try and do what you said, I think it will solve the problem, though my dad is a problem. I'll try and they might stop. Thanks Bizzaro.

 

Don't worry, the Serries of Unfortunate Events is fictional.

 

???

 

He is talking about a movie where 3 kids get taken to a foster home, and a bunch of unfortunate events happen, and the kids half to try to outsmart the caretaker to stay alive.

And yes, it is completely fictional.

 

Rex, you can come live with me, but there's a requirement in this house that you be a Gator fan.

Otherwise you will get backhanded.

In all seriousness, if you ever need help...

 

Living with Jon? Sounds interesting. A gator fan? and what Backhanded? Well I'm just going to let things chill around my house and see how it goes. I just need advice.

 

You aren't that bad off.

 

I don't want to leave my house >.> I bonded with it, just my family members. It's just too much pressure everywhere I turn. It's like no break from it, so I was going crazy almost.

 

Lol... I was just kidding...

and you don't know what a Gator fan is? I should backhand you just for that!

Anyway, much luck.

 

hmm...lets see P:

gator fan-n. 1) A special fan used by gators to cool off when they get too much sun. 2) A name people give themselves for liking somekind of team at a certain sport, we have yet to find any specific details on their strange behavior patterns.

 

I know you were kidding ^^ but gator fan sounds.... cool! Backhanding sounds painful.

 

Rex, you should lift weights, especially if your doing it with your friends. It builds strength and confidence, its hard work but worth it as you get into bigger weights. Who cares about basketball? just feel good about your self man.

 

Thats a bit hard when people call you fat. Especially if they say your fatter the someone else who is really fatter then you.

Any tips on that? Its hard to stop it, I tried all sorts of ways but none has worked so far.

 

Try some motivation books or something,they might contain confidence-boosting techniques i think.
and remember fat equal to ugliness.i mean being fat(if u r) does not necessary make u ugly.

 

I know it may be a very hard thing to do, but have you tried ignoring them? Of course it hurts but if you don't let them see that it affects you, it won't be as "fun" for them anymore and they might eventually cease.

 

Blah Tried that, for like what... 8 years? They use sarcasm now too. When I shoot a Basket Ball in a hoop, or hit a Puck into a Hoop and Miss they say "CHEER FOR ALLSTAR" Or "Allstar!!!"