Corrupt-a-wish 2

Granted, but the turtle is so elusive that you dont know you have it.

I wish i could fix anything

 

granted you "fix" yourself.

I wish i had a demon puppy that could eat me at any moment.

 

Granted, but it doesn't, instead it eats many city structures, including, but not limited to, fire hydrants, traffic lights, and power poles. And YOU have to pay for the damage.

I wish that my MP3 player had more memory.

 

Granted, You have the first 5 Terrabyte MP3 player.. to bad it doesn't do WiFi, or have a USB port.

I wish I had more free time.

 

Granted, but you spend it wishing you had MORE free time.

I wish all trees grew 5 doller bills along with their regular nus and fruit

 

granted but the 1 and 5 dollar bills are replaced with coins

i wish the dollar was worth more, or the euro was worth less

 

Granted, both currencies become useless.

I wish camels didn't exist.

 

Granted but angry hippies murder you in your sleep for wishing that.

I wish for a titanium partridge in a titanium pear tree.

 

Granted but as soon as you touch it it turns to dust.

I wish [insert wish here].

 

Granted but a giant billboard with [insert wish here] written on it crushes you.

I wish for jazz hands.

 

granted but several deathmetal bands follow you around and drown out any sound you attempt to make.

i wish dirty laundry was a form of currency

 

Granted, but each load of washing is worth a millionth of a cent.

I wish for a Speedy Gonzalez.

 

granted but he gets eaten when his seeeeester distracts him

wish i had a cleaning robot

 

granted, but it goes crazy and destroys your house...then blows up.

i wish that i can get 90% + in all my exams.

 

granted, but you still dont get into your first choice college/grad school

 

You wished for nothing, so you will have to spend the rest of your life grating people's wishes!

I wish for a space ship that takes me to an advanced friendly alien planet.

 

granted but you cannot eat their food so you are forced to return

i wish for a pet koala

 

granted, but it becomes bloodraged and start scratching your eyeballs out.

i wish that i can wish for something that my friend wished which his friend wished who knew his mothers wish who also knew my wish.

 

granted, but the whole world is angry with you for writing that sentence

i wish for a life size terran marine suit

 

Granted, but it is welded around you and you never can get it of again, even when you really have to go to the bathroom, so you wet yourself.

I wish for a self-cleaning house.