Your best joke!

^
lol that gave me a smile =]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixA8cA_fVJc

LOLOL i dno why but i ROFL so haard after seeing this! xD

 

A little punctuation fun with this sentence:

A woman without her man is nothing




Man: A woman, without her man, is nothing.
Woman: A woman: without her, man is nothing.

Credit goes to my father for that one. I love having witty parents.

 

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Spoiler

Fsh

 

I found my stash!!!



A blonde named Cindy decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no prior lessons or experience.

Cindy mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Cindy begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, Cindy grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly uneffected by its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunatley, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves. Her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when.........







...... the supermarket manager runs out and shuts the horse off.

 

2 jokes:

What do you call a deer with no eyes:

Spoiler

No idea

What do you call a dear with no eyes and cannot move?

Spoiler

Still no idea

And . . . . .

Why did the astronauts find bones on the moon?

Spoiler

Cause the cow never made it after all.

 

i actually ROFLd.
yes, it was very awkward at 6 in the morn xD

 

What did the sick fish say to the healthy fish?

I am daing!


(Yeah... you won' get it unless you know tagalog )

 

Children's Books That Weren't

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who died from eating all his vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Timothy
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-it Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Dogs go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way
19. You were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes the Hamster ... And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares are Real
24. Where Would You Like to be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry.

 

XD nice

 

i was laughing so hard at some of these


Funny Church Bloopers


Our next song is "Angels we have Heard Get High"

Don't let worry kill you- let the church help.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.

The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11th.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

 

A Random Day...

 

any1 knows where 2 find the funny vid where two guys argue wich one who loves noodles teh most?
Was on the warboards forums a time ago, thread name was "Epic laugh"...
rly funny vid

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL4dWJplJdM&feature=related

:laugh:

 

I've seen kids like that in real life and I want to kick them hard enough to earn myself a field goal...

 

A guy walked into a bar and said
'Ow'

 

Why did the baby cross the road?

Spoiler

It was stapled to a chicken.

 

Youtube.com
search for "Nytt jobb kanske?" (swedish, vid is not in swedish though )
lawl